Archive - April 2015

1
Dumb Things Are Funny When You’re Over-Tired
2
You Make Life Better—A Love Letter
3
Funkins…FTW!
4
I Made This Mess—Now It’s Time To Clean It Up
5
Never Shave Again?!
6
Losing It (And Other Things)
7
Parents, Stop Blinking!

Dumb Things Are Funny When You’re Over-Tired

As parents of young children, my husband and I don’t get out much. So when we do go out and stay up past lights out, we pay for it the next day. My parents looked after the kids just last weekend so we could go out and whoop it up. We whooped and were thusly pooped. When my parents dropped the kids home the next day, Adrian and I were two lumps of meat on the couch. Of course, they were all busting with energy. My parents even brought over a new laser machine cat toy thingy for the cat. Kevin wasn’t “feline” it but our daughter was. She kept trying to look into the laser beam. Um…..no. I prefer my children have fully intact retinas. Thanks for the gift, but it had to go back. While we zombies sat on the couch with absolutely zero perceptible movement, minus the occasional eye blink, Avery pulled at my mum to go downstairs to play, while my dad struggled to get the large cat toy back into its tiny box. For some reason our son took this video of the action and you can hear my dad mumbling, “I’ll just uh….” as[…]

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Funkins…FTW!

My daughter is beautiful, inside and outside. Though I have to say, sometimes her outside is a mess. At every meal she ends up with a ridiculous amount of food on her face. We have no idea how she doesn’t feel it. And if she is aware of the loaf of bread hanging from her lower lip, how does it not drive her nuts?! But alas, this is one of the many mysteries that make our Avery unique. Left to her own devices, she would go through a dozen paper napkins in one sitting—that’s a whole pile of unnecessary waste. We tried sending Avery to school with a pair of terrycloth wristbands to wear during lunch. Her occupational therapist gave us the idea, suggesting she use them to wipe her mouth. Good idea in theory, but she didn’t like the way they felt on her wrists and the experiment failed. Without the teacher or her EA facilitating, lunchtime is when Avery has an opportunity to interact with her peers independently. And though the kids at her table group graciously try to ignore the food on her chin, we are trying to teach her to get it together. 🙂 We recently[…]

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I Made This Mess—Now It’s Time To Clean It Up

It’s not that I’m a “neat freak” exactly— I just prefer my environment (home, office, car, the world) to be orderly. Does this make me neurotic? Maybe, but my brain just functions better when the space around me is organized. Even as a kid, I made my bed every morning without being asked. I’m not talking hospital corners, but at the very least, the comforter was pulled smooth. Apart from some Barbies lying around or a few sweaters draped over my desk chair, my room was always well appointed. My brother was pretty tidy too.* And today, all grown up, his workshop is super organized—there is a place for everything. Labeled even. And don’t even get me started about his highly efficient laundry system. It’s a thing of beauty. We’re both giant weirdos, aren’t we? No response needed, thank you.  I really have no idea what our mom did to make us this way. She never nagged (not about tidying anyway… Hi mom!). We just knew that keeping our rooms neat was our responsibility, so we did it willingly and peacefully. So now that I have two children, I expect the same from them. Unreasonable? There are many who say,[…]

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Never Shave Again?!

If you give a care about having less hair, please allow me to wax poetically about the pros and cons of laser hair removal. First, I should tell you that this post is not sponsored. I paid for this experience with my own dollhairs. I actually got a package deal on sale on Black Friday—a friend sang the praises of this particular laser salon, Chi-Chi Laser Studios, so when I saw the deal pop up, I grabbed it. If you’re considering laser hair removal you could do your own research on the subject or simply read this post to ‘shave off’ some time. (Sorry, but c’mon… so many puns.). I’m not particularly hairy, and even so, I rarely parade around in a bathing suit, so why would I even consider getting lasered? Let me enlighten you. Be warned, there are some TMI bits ahead, so if you’re a dude or god forbid my dad, stop reading here ~~> ! Wait, scratch that bit about the dudes. Super hairy guys, absolutely read on. Men can (and many SHOULD) look into this. If there is no distinguishing line between the back of your head and your lower back, definitely keep reading. I[…]

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Losing It (And Other Things)

  I suspect I might be the biggest loser. And not in an inspiring reality show kind of way. Ask anyone in my life how often I lose things and they’ll point a finger and burst out laughing in my loser direction. Somehow, somewhere in my adulthood, I’ve become extremely absent minded. I physically lose items daily. Why? Dunno. I do know that while it’s a source of great hilarity for those around me, it’s frustrating as hell. I’ve written on this topic before. Like how I’m a loser baby and how I’ve basically lost my ever lovin’ mind. I expected it would’ve gotten better by now. Hasn’t. One of the areas we’re working on with our daughter is her ability to focus. We can absolutely blame her developmental delays on her lack of concentration, but what can I blame? Lack of sleep probably. Irregardlessly (I know, not a word, but I’m tired and don’t care) My lack of focus leads to the (often permanent) misplacement of the most random items. The most recent MIA items include: Car keys, found a day later in a coat pocket…a coat I don’t recall wearing for months—So what’s happening here? Black outs, alien[…]

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Parents, Stop Blinking!

With all the powerful, gigantic love and joy that comes with being a parent, there is also the cold-sweat inducing self-doubt, pit-in-your-stomach worry, daily guilt, parenting choice remorse, basic dread, and of course, paralyzing fear. Our son talks about changing the world. He’s a dedicated vegetarian. He recycles without giving it a second thought. He turns off lights behind me to “save the polar bears.” And though he still wears little boy pyjamas, he’s now wearing size 10 men’s shoes. I’m afraid to blink because every time I do, he grows up just a smidge more. He actually lifted me up on the ground today. I’d like to think it’s because I’m light as a feather, but I sadly I know it’s because he’s a freaking he-man.  Our daughter is is the sweetest person. I’m serious. The girl does not know how to hate. She wakes up happy and bounds out of bed, excited to start her day. How wonderful would it be to live like that? I haven’t bounded out of bed since 1982. And even then, it must’ve been Christmas or I really had to pee. I had a moment of clarity the other day when I realized[…]

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