The kids are still asleep and I’m up writing to clear the cobwebs from my brian. Oh my god. Brain. Not brian. I do not have cobwebs in my brian. I don’t even know Brian.
Before we get this day started…. this bless-ed PD Day where both kids are home expecting to be nurtured and entertained and probably even fed, here are five random things off the top of my head.
1. Why do words appear backwards in a mirror? Sounds like a simple concept, but when asked, “Why mummy? Why the BEACH DAY letters wrong?” to a child who looks down at the words on her shirt and then back up to her reflection in the mirror confused and demanding an explanation, it’s not as easy to explain as you might think. Especially pre-coffee. I told my daughter to just put a sweater over her shirt. Problem solved.
2. I heard a radio ad calling for volunteers for an experimental seasonal allergy study. I had to laugh because I was actually accepted into a similar study a few years ago. I was seduced by the $4000.00 pay cheque for successful (i.e. the ones who don’t die?) participants. I was nervous about the required vaccinations. Who knows what chemicals they would be injecting me with? But the component that really gave me pause was being required to sit in a sealed room while being blasted with pollen. This, on the day before I was signed up to attend a writing conference. Visions of me walking into a room of my peers who would stare in horror at my puffy face, numerous hives and red, slits for eyes, made me reconsider my new “career.” I quit the study. I hear the pay cheque this time around is $7000.00….
3. Sadly, our national anthem is on the lame side. I prefer my daughter’s version. It goes: “Oh Canada, please stand stand stand on feeeeeeeeeeet.” Much better.
4. Staying hydrated is really hard. I’ve been doing this water challenge for a week now—an app on my phone beeps and tells me how much water to drink at that moment. I’m beginning to hate this demanding app. It’s beeps and says, “You need to drink 453ml of water now.” My last response was something like, “Ya? You need to shut the flip up. I’m not thirsty and do you know how many trips I’ve made to the bathroom today already??” But one look down at my dry, cracked, elderly hands and I’m back to filtering water through my body like a grouper.
5. I can not stand the feeling of my shirt riding up over my waistline, even just a crack. It drives me insane. What’s with women who bend over and expose the entire small of their back and the top bit of their thonged area? Can’t they feel the breeze? Are they exibtitionists or are they just numb in that area? I don’t understand.
Happy Friday everyone!