Archive - 2012

1
It’s Chili Baby
2
Cloudy With A Chance Of Toilet Water Rain
3
The Perfect Craft For The Anti-Mess Mom
4
How To Shop With Military Precision
5
Hoarse Whisperer

It’s Chili Baby

    I’m no spring chicken. Plus I have my hands and heart full with these two children of ours. But lately when I hear a baby cry coo I feel a pang of longing and a twinge of self doubt and I ask myself, “Did we make the right choice?” And, “Do they sell a DIY reverse vasectomy kit on the Shopping Channel?”   Mother nature makes babies all cute and sweet smelling on purpose; they’re nearly impossible to resist.    I remember my son’s first movement; that flutter of a baby’s tiny feet announcing its presence to his mother from the inside out. I was in the car listening to Gowan. When the song suddenly exploded into a drum beat (hello “Criminal Mind”), I felt my son jolt–either from fear or the kid digs Gowan. Either way, I felt him and the feeling was indescribable; joy and amazement and “Holy hell, there’s a person in there!!”   I felt that again today. And for a moment, fleeting as it was, I was hopeful. Could it be? Retrace actions… eyes dart to calendar…do the math…assess the probability… I was excited and hopeful. But hope gave way to the realization that post Grey[…]

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Cloudy With A Chance Of Toilet Water Rain

No matter what you do, or how “good” you are, sometimes you can’t escape the black cloud hanging over your head. Have you seen my house? It’s the one with the dark cumulus cloud hovering just above the roof line. Let me preface this by saying, life is good. It’s really good. Everyone gets caught in the rain now and then. Sometimes the bad luck comes down in torrents. Other times it’s just a quick spritz and you don’t even need to blow dry your bangs. It’s been a raining intermittently on us for a few weeks now. First my dad was in hospital. He’s fine. But it was stressful. Then my father-in-law was rushed to emergency. Twice. That scenario, though it ended well, was frightening and upsetting. Then only a few days before our trip to Disney World (our FIRST FAMILY VACATION EVER) my husband was in a car accident. I already had significant anxiety around my dear spouse commuting on the fast and narrow highway that connects our home in the burbs to his work in the city. Every morning I must say, (must as in, it’s a compulsion) “Drive carefully” as he leaves or I fear for his[…]

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The Perfect Craft For The Anti-Mess Mom

This is a typical early morning conversation at my house on any given Saturday…   It’s not that I don’t like painting or working with clay or paper mache. It’s the clean up that gives me hives. We Type-A control freaks are allergic to messes. This is why I love Wikki Stix. They’ve been around forever and for good reason. They are endlessly reusable, non-toxic, not messy AT ALL, and can be used in so many ways. Wikki Stix (on the right) are made of hand-knitting yarn enhanced with a microcrystalline food-grade, non-toxic wax. I’m not sure, but I don’t think the sticks on the left are quite as safe.    Wikki Stix are bendy and sticky and easy to use. You don’t need glue (hallelujah), you just press them down with light fingertip pressure and they adhere to almost any smooth surface, including paper. They are also easy to peel up and reposition so mistakes don’t matter. They don’t break or tear apart, but cut easily with scissors. Admittedly, some portion of my adoration for this colourful craft item stems from their simplicity (my daughter can use them independently which leaves me free to sneak off for more coffee). I[…]

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How To Shop With Military Precision

I recently admitted to being a delusional shopper, prone to lulling myself into a false sense of calm and then having a complete freak out on Christmas Eve day because THAT’S festive, isn’t it? “Come on kids, gather ’round mommy and watch as she has a yule fit-to-be tied melt down under the Christmas tree.” But not this year. I vow not to be the crazy woman running around in search of one last trimming. This year I’m going to treat holiday shopping as a military exercise — stealth and efficient, every manouver carefully plotted in advance. The plan of attack? To get in, get the gifts, and get out with minimal collateral damage. How? It’s all in the planning. This chart will keep track of gift ideas as they come up. It’s the Thornbury Holiday Wish List. We have a chalkboard wall in the kitchen which makes a handy list area. It’s also easy to erase. Notice how there are now only two gift receivers listed? “Somebody” wiped her parents off the board and then scribbled over their wishes. Clearly this child is under the impression that holidays are all about the kids. Here is the revamped list. I put mummy[…]

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Hoarse Whisperer

Source No matter how quiet my husband attempts to be in the morning, he may as well be banging a gong over my head because I can hear his every move. As he leans over to say goodbye as he does every morning, he whispers ever so loudly. The dude has the loudest whisper ever. The volume of his daytime talking voice is much quieter and less jarring than his whisper yell.   Of course when I point this out, he laughs and whispers even louder. I married a smart-ass hoarse whisperer.   At least most mornings this rude awakening occurs at a reasonable hour. Most mornings, but not today. This morning my dear husband got up and showered at 4:45 AM. It seems somebody didn’t turn his watch back an hour. DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WAS TWO WEEKS AGO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Now look who’s whisper yelling.

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