Archive - 2012

1
It’s Chili Baby
2
Cloudy With A Chance Of Toilet Water Rain
3
The Perfect Craft For The Anti-Mess Mom
4
How To Shop With Military Precision
5
Hoarse Whisperer
6
A Different R-Word Post
7
Which Type Of Holiday Shopper Are You?
8
The Mandarin — Our Special Place
9
Mad Family Love
10
Parenting: A Glory Story

It’s Chili Baby

    I’m no spring chicken. Plus I have my hands and heart full with these two children of ours. But lately when I hear a baby cry coo I feel a pang of longing and a twinge of self doubt and I ask myself, “Did we make the right choice?” And, “Do they sell a DIY reverse vasectomy kit on the Shopping Channel?”   Mother nature makes babies all cute and sweet smelling on purpose; they’re nearly impossible to resist.    I remember my son’s first movement; that flutter of a baby’s tiny feet announcing its presence to his mother from the inside out. I was in the car listening to Gowan. When the song suddenly exploded into a drum beat (hello “Criminal Mind”), I felt my son jolt–either from fear or the kid digs Gowan. Either way, I felt him and the feeling was indescribable; joy and amazement and “Holy hell, there’s a person in there!!”   I felt that again today. And for a moment, fleeting as it was, I was hopeful. Could it be? Retrace actions… eyes dart to calendar…do the math…assess the probability… I was excited and hopeful. But hope gave way to the realization that post Grey[…]

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Cloudy With A Chance Of Toilet Water Rain

No matter what you do, or how “good” you are, sometimes you can’t escape the black cloud hanging over your head. Have you seen my house? It’s the one with the dark cumulus cloud hovering just above the roof line. Let me preface this by saying, life is good. It’s really good. Everyone gets caught in the rain now and then. Sometimes the bad luck comes down in torrents. Other times it’s just a quick spritz and you don’t even need to blow dry your bangs. It’s been a raining intermittently on us for a few weeks now. First my dad was in hospital. He’s fine. But it was stressful. Then my father-in-law was rushed to emergency. Twice. That scenario, though it ended well, was frightening and upsetting. Then only a few days before our trip to Disney World (our FIRST FAMILY VACATION EVER) my husband was in a car accident. I already had significant anxiety around my dear spouse commuting on the fast and narrow highway that connects our home in the burbs to his work in the city. Every morning I must say, (must as in, it’s a compulsion) “Drive carefully” as he leaves or I fear for his[…]

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The Perfect Craft For The Anti-Mess Mom

This is a typical early morning conversation at my house on any given Saturday…   It’s not that I don’t like painting or working with clay or paper mache. It’s the clean up that gives me hives. We Type-A control freaks are allergic to messes. This is why I love Wikki Stix. They’ve been around forever and for good reason. They are endlessly reusable, non-toxic, not messy AT ALL, and can be used in so many ways. Wikki Stix (on the right) are made of hand-knitting yarn enhanced with a microcrystalline food-grade, non-toxic wax. I’m not sure, but I don’t think the sticks on the left are quite as safe.    Wikki Stix are bendy and sticky and easy to use. You don’t need glue (hallelujah), you just press them down with light fingertip pressure and they adhere to almost any smooth surface, including paper. They are also easy to peel up and reposition so mistakes don’t matter. They don’t break or tear apart, but cut easily with scissors. Admittedly, some portion of my adoration for this colourful craft item stems from their simplicity (my daughter can use them independently which leaves me free to sneak off for more coffee). I[…]

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How To Shop With Military Precision

I recently admitted to being a delusional shopper, prone to lulling myself into a false sense of calm and then having a complete freak out on Christmas Eve day because THAT’S festive, isn’t it? “Come on kids, gather ’round mommy and watch as she has a yule fit-to-be tied melt down under the Christmas tree.” But not this year. I vow not to be the crazy woman running around in search of one last trimming. This year I’m going to treat holiday shopping as a military exercise — stealth and efficient, every manouver carefully plotted in advance. The plan of attack? To get in, get the gifts, and get out with minimal collateral damage. How? It’s all in the planning. This chart will keep track of gift ideas as they come up. It’s the Thornbury Holiday Wish List. We have a chalkboard wall in the kitchen which makes a handy list area. It’s also easy to erase. Notice how there are now only two gift receivers listed? “Somebody” wiped her parents off the board and then scribbled over their wishes. Clearly this child is under the impression that holidays are all about the kids. Here is the revamped list. I put mummy[…]

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Hoarse Whisperer

Source No matter how quiet my husband attempts to be in the morning, he may as well be banging a gong over my head because I can hear his every move. As he leans over to say goodbye as he does every morning, he whispers ever so loudly. The dude has the loudest whisper ever. The volume of his daytime talking voice is much quieter and less jarring than his whisper yell.   Of course when I point this out, he laughs and whispers even louder. I married a smart-ass hoarse whisperer.   At least most mornings this rude awakening occurs at a reasonable hour. Most mornings, but not today. This morning my dear husband got up and showered at 4:45 AM. It seems somebody didn’t turn his watch back an hour. DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME WAS TWO WEEKS AGO FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! Now look who’s whisper yelling.

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A Different R-Word Post

  At a recent group speech therapy session with my daughter I had a run in with the R-Word. But not in the way you might think. Parents watch these classes via closed circuit television from a separate room. It’s usually mothers, but at this session there were two dads in the mix. As the other moms and I watched and listened intently to the class, the two dads chatted about golf and business and other random topics. Instead of hyper-focussing on their kids the entire hour, they were relaxed, enjoying some social time, talking about subjects other than their children. Imagine that.  Whenever I’m in the presence of other moms who also have a child with special needs, the go-to topic of conversation is always our children. “What’s your child’s diagnosis? When did they start walking? Who’s their OT? Seizures? Are they on the spectrum?” etc. etc. etc. Truthfully, it’s kind of exhausting. And then here are these two dads—chatty, laid back, unconcerned.   I eavesdropped as one of the dads relayed this story about his daughter to the other dad . “We’re at this indoor playground and I see Kira push another kid. The kid’s mother runs over and starts[…]

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Which Type Of Holiday Shopper Are You?

  According to numerous studies (all conducted in my head) there are three distinct types of holiday shoppers.  1) The Super Shopper: This queen of the list is fuelled by a passion for purchasing and is a true hunter/gatherer at heart. The Super Shopper begins buying gifts for any given holiday, months in advance.  2) The Slothy Shopper: Since this harried shopper leaves everything to the last minute, she is fuelled by panic and large volumes of caffeine.  3) The Delusional Shopper: This shopper believes they have purchased everything necessary for the holidays well in advance. However, upon inspection of the various trimmings and gifts mere hours before the malls close for the holidays, self-doubt sets in. “Did I balance the stocking stuffers fairly between the kids? Actually, WHERE ARE THE STOCKING STUFFERS?? And what about the dog? He deserves more than a rubber bone in his stocking. And, my girl was eye-balling that Fisher-Price Gymnastics Dora at the store yesterday. I’m grossly unprepared! I’ll just run out and get a few more things.” This internal monologue is soon followed by the sound of tires screeching toward the mall. Which one of these shoppers are YOU?    According to another very scientific study (also[…]

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The Mandarin — Our Special Place

    When I was asked if I was familiar with The Mandarin Chinese Buffet, I laughed and answered, “Of course, it’s the reason I own buffet pants!”   I kid, but my family has been going to the Mandarin for decades, so now I’m continuing the tradition with my own little family. When our son was younger, his birthday restaurant of choice was one that features over-priced, salty food and animatronic animals. Thankfully both he and his little sister have outgrown it and have moved on to “our place.” What makes The Maaaaan-dar-iiiin (Sorry! That tune will now be stuck in your brain for next 6-84 hours) our place? First and foremost—the food. There’s something for everyone in my family; including the pickiest eater on earth…my girl child. The buffet format (all joking aside about my buffet pants…I actually wore skinny jeans last time, albeit, unbuttoned…) suits our family perfectly. Our daughter’s attention issues make staying seated difficult, so the opportunity for her to get up and walk around makes a buffet style meal the easiest and most relaxing choice for us. Also, making her own selections gives my girl power over her meal; she is more apt to eat what[…]

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Mad Family Love

  We recently went out for a family brunch and a lovely time was had by all, or so we thought… After looking through the photos it seems one member of our merry band was somewhat dissatisfied. Could it be she was disgruntled after being told she was not allowed to stick her head directly under the chocolate fountain, despite the fact that her mother did that very thing several years before at a wedding? What? I was dared to do it. Or perhaps eating a spicy pepper, mistaken for a tomato was causing ill feelings? Or maybe being forced to sit still for more than ten minutes was more than she could bear? Whatever the reason, this is the photographic evidence that *somebody* in our party was a little on the grumpy side. Funny, because she’s usually the happiest of the bunch. *My father-in-law is absent from this pic because he was taking the photo…

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Parenting: A Glory Story

You ponder the sleepless nights, the childish outbursts (yours AND the kids’), the emotional and financial drain, and the myriad of adjustments you’ve had to make to your life, and you wonder, “Is parenting worth the sacrifice?” The day my daughter was diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder is the day our lives changed forever. We were in the hospital at the time, our tiny girl hooked up to a feeding tube, when the doctor explained what we would be facing in the years to come. Appointments, hospital stays, and numerous therapies loomed. One parent would need to stay home to manage this hectic schedule. It was going to be me. My maternity leave was coming to an end, but I would not be returning to my job. More than a job, my chosen profession and passion. When this reality hit, I sat rocking my baby in my arms, grieving for my old life. A passing nurse peered in at a sobbing mother and soon a social worker arrived to talk to the woman in room 2C who was coming unraveled. It seems selfish looking back at how devastated I was to be losing my career. Was it really a loss[…]

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