How To Shop With Military Precision

I recently admitted to being a delusional shopper, prone to lulling myself into a false sense of calm and then having a complete freak out on Christmas Eve day because THAT’S festive, isn’t it? “Come on kids, gather ’round mommy and watch as she has a yule fit-to-be tied melt down under the Christmas tree.”

But not this year.

I vow not to be the crazy woman running around in search of one last trimming.

This year I’m going to treat holiday shopping as a military exercise — stealth and efficient, every manouver carefully plotted in advance. The plan of attack? To get in, get the gifts, and get out with minimal collateral damage.

How? It’s all in the planning.

This chart will keep track of gift ideas as they come up. It’s the Thornbury Holiday Wish List.

We have a chalkboard wall in the kitchen which makes a handy list area. It’s also easy to erase. Notice how there are now only two gift receivers listed? “Somebody” wiped her parents off the board and then scribbled over their wishes. Clearly this child is under the impression that holidays are all about the kids.

Here is the revamped list. I put mummy and daddy waaaaay up high so our chalkboard wishes can’t be obliterated. If only the same could be said for true life wishes (thank you unexpected kitchen flood and car accident for drowning out my hopes of buying a new computer. *shakes fist at reality*)

 

holiday wish list

And yes my list is lame. I can’t help it, I’m practical. Most of my socks have holes and we happen to be nearly out of tooth paste. So why not include them in the stocking stuffers? Also, I’m nearly out of deodorant….

My son added “Computer” to my list. What a doll. Wait a minute. If I get a new computer, he gets my old one! Sneaky bugger. He also added “2 Front Teeth” to his gummy sister’s list. Bah ha!

And look at my man’s list. A golf gift certificate and pajamas? The guy really doesn’t require much. Maybe if he’s really good I’ll get him some mouthwash and some rechargeable batteries. Ahem, I may have added “Bus Pass.” A few weeks ago his car was shmushed in an accident. Thankfully nobody was hurt, but poor “Goldie” his ever faithful station wagon didn’t survive. I suggested we put the insurance money towards my new computer and he can take the bus to work. What? I’m getting a lump of coal in my stocking, aren’t I?

While the kids are pouring over toy catalogues trying to decide what to add and what to nix from their lists…

….I’m pre-shopping online; price checking between stores, checking availability and looking for coupons (don’t forget Fisher-Price is offering up to $90 in coupon savings, but you can only get them online until November 30th).

The days of casually strolling through the mall, sipping a peppermint latte while browsing and leisurely selecting gifts are over. I’m on a mission this holiday season!


Repeat after me:

“I will not shop ’til I drop.”
“I will make a list and check it twice thrice.”
“I will set a deadline to finish ALL holiday shopping tasks and stick to it.”
“I will decide upon ONE hiding place for all gifts and commit said location to memory.”
“I will use coupons and look for deals, but within reason. We’re on a deadline here people.”

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