Archive - 2011

1
Tired Of Loafing Around
2
Sick of It
3
A *Message* (read in french accent) About Massage
4
My Funny Head … Funny Weird, Not Funny Ha Ha
5
Mo-Walk The Talk
6
My Movember
7
Halloweiner
8
Dragon Dictation APP
9
Singing and Signing
10
Critter Cam

Tired Of Loafing Around

I’m a social creature. I like to be near people at all times. If my husband is late coming home from work, I’ve been known to press my face up against the window, willing him home, like some lonely housebound cat. I don’t mind being alone. In fact, I revel in it some times. I just much prefer the company of other warm blooded mammals of the human variety. The past few days, I’ve been trapped at home with the flu. My children are good company, but after a while their social graces and conversational skills wane. So my brief excursion out this evening was welcomed. I was finally out among my peeps! So what if my big outing was merely to the grocery store? I went with it. I chatted with the produce guy. Our conversation may have only consisted of, “Excuse me, where are the mushrooms?” but it was a start. The dude in the meat department wasn’t very chatty. I tried to engage him in a convo about ground turkey versus ground chicken, but he didn’t seem that into it. Finally at the checkout (and here’s a glimpse of how loopy I become when I’m caged in[…]

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Sick of It

  I’m sick of getting sick. It’s sickening. If I had an attack dog, I’d sick him on sickness. There have been so many germs and unwelcome viruses around here lately, it’s surprising we’re not living on a street lined with Sycamore trees. Sick-a-more. My Movember plan to be Sick-a-less hasn’t been going so well.    Pink eye, strep throat, allergies, coughs, colds and now…the dreaded flu. I used to be able to fend off these germy buggars with both eyes tied behind my back. I know that’s not a real quote but I don’t care. It makes me laugh and we flu sufferers need all the humour we can find because one look in the mirror and it’s all tears and disgust. I look hideous. But now, I seem to fall prey to every bug that blows my way.   My son caught something at school last week. Being the strapping young lad he is, he fought it off valiantly. Avery caught it next. She didn’t fare as well and was a sick little girl for several days. Then, I caught it. The chills, the shakes and fever, the sore throat and all over body ache–the flu is a[…]

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A *Message* (read in french accent) About Massage

As weird as it is to have a perfect stranger rub and squeeze me, it’s completely worth the mild awkwardness. Here’s the low down on getting a rub down: 1. Eat before. Not so much that you’re a bloated whale, but enough to spare you the worry about your tummy grumbling during your massage. A rumbly stomach is a natural thing, but for some reason I find it embarrassing and anticipating my stomach making sounds on the table stresses me out. 2. Drink water before and after your massage – something to do with helping flush out toxins or something. 3. On that note, pee right before your massage. Parts of your body will be pushed on, so it’s a good idea to go in “on empty.” 4. Be advised that the massage therapist will tuck the top sheet into the wasitband of your underwear. Unless you’re comfortable showing off your butt, you might want to trade in the thong for full-coverage briefs on massage day. 5. Couples massages are romantic in theory. However, if your partner is a Chatty Cathy (Yes, I’m looking at YOU honey) and serenity is what you’re after, book separate rooms. 6. Set the mood[…]

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My Funny Head … Funny Weird, Not Funny Ha Ha

  So far Movember is going well…for my husband. His stache is filling in rather nicely, if you like the porn star look. As I sit here, wiping the sleep from my eyes, blowing my nose, and feeling an all over sense of ick, I can’t say my Movember has started off with a bang. My commitment, though made in earnest, is hobbling pathetically along, stopping frequently to pull up socks and catch its breath.    All hope of a healthy “No-phelgm-ber” have been dashed. My son, covered in a thin film of Vicks VapoRub and cold sweat, crawled into bed with me last night. He coughed and thrashed around and coughed some more. I got about eleven minutes of sleep.    I know this is a blip. We’ll rid this house of these vile germs and start fresh on Monday. I can’t give up on this, on me.   I matter to people. Specifically, the little people who live in my house and the guy with the porno stache.    I made a commitment to get healthy and fit, a “commfitment” if you will. I know, I know, what’s with the lame, clearly made up terms? I can’t help[…]

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Mo-Walk The Talk

I know how to talk the talk. “Oooh, I’m going to take better care of myself this month; get more sleep, eat better, exercise, blah, blah, blah.” So far my progress has been less than impressive. I posted the original “My Movember” commitment at midnight. Nice job on the whole getting more sleep vow — only the cornerstone of this entire thing. Last night I went to bed early-ish, but I tossed and turned like a sailor in a hurricane. By that lame analogy you can guess what sort of groggy state I’m in. So ask me how my exercise regime has been going. Wait, let me just unbutton my jeans—the waistband is cutting into my gut and I can’t concentrate. Okay, NOW ask me. I’ve been walking the dogs. That’s a start. Did I mention they’re chihuahuas? Not exactly a challenging trek. Also, I talk on the phone and Tweet as I’m walking. Richard Simmons would roll over in his grave if he read this. Oh wait, he’s still alive and kicking. And wearing those tight and teeny striped shorts apparently. As for my “healthy eating” promise? Stupid Halloween. So now what? I made this essential commitment to my health and[…]

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My Movember

  Every Movember dudes around the globe grow mustaches to raise funds and awareness for men’s health, specifically prostate cancer. My hairy husband participates. Last Movember he grew a handlebar stache which I found particularly annoying. Even though I desperately wanted to shave it off in his sleep, my respect and admiration for this great cause kept the razor at bay…until December 1st. This year I am participating in my own kind of Movember in support of, me. Please don’t misunderstand, I’m not being selfish. There’s no ish. This is all about self— self preservation.   Every Christmas the bleak weather, the hectic holidays, the stupid sucky stress; it all takes a toll and I become this pathetic, flimsy sack — I am the packaging that the mint condition Lisa originally came in now tossed aside, wrinkled and useless. Not this year.   I plan to properly prepare and fuel my body and soul in preparation of the dreary winter ahead.    This Movember I will support and cultivate my husband’s lip garden, while also seeking to claim mo for myself…   mo-sleep mo-water mo-exercise mo-down time mo-meditation and purposeful relaxation mo-pampering mo-saying no  mo-healthy eating (including those vitamins and[…]

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Halloweiner

I love Halloween. It’s my favourite holiday…until of course, the next big holiday comes along. Then I’ll be all, “Christmas is my favourite holiday!” I’m a swept-up-in-the-moment kinda gal. Anyway, the Halloween moment is fading fast, but before the last spooky, shadows have receded back into the night (aka the big plastic Rubbermaid bins in my basement), here a few happy Halloween moments from the haunted house of Thornbury… *insert chainsaw buzzing and shrill screaming here* THIS is what happens when pumpkin carving occurs on daddy’s shift. I can’t complain – there were no severed digits and my husband (my own butch Martha Stewart) Googled a roasted pumpkin seed recipe and baked up a batch with the kids. How cute does Avery look with a pumpkin on her head? Downright gourd-geous! haha Justin ZomBieber and Chicken Little Big Mouth (Avery carried that plastic egg with her all day and night. “Cracked” us up. Ironically, we had chicken fingers for dinner before trick-or-treating. Aw, that’s one happy chicken and one cross-eyed Zombieber. Avery was sick the last two years and wasn’t able to go trick-or-treating. This year they both went out, together. The Zombie groaned, “Trick-or-treat” while Avery offered an enthusiastic,[…]

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Dragon Dictation APP

  If I don’t jot down a blog idea or an important phone number or date immediately, it’s gone by the time I blink twice. Memory like a sieve.   This is why I love this cool free APP – Dragon Dictation. You simply dictate and it records and translates your voice into text. You can then email the note to yourself, post to Facebook or tweet it.   It’s not perfect. There are some epic autocorrects, so you’re best not to hit “send” until you make any corrections. However it’s great if you just want to send yourself a reminder or fire off an email handsfree (preferably to someone who won’t be offended by rudely unintentional *or so you claim* errors).   This app is also excellent for kiddos with speech/language/learning delays. It can be used effectively in a number of ways. For kids who have trouble writing, talk to text is a good option. For kids like mine who have significant speech delays, we use the app to practise speaking in slow, short and precise sentences.    Check it out and let me know how the app helps you. 

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Singing and Signing

  My daughter is not a fan of long car rides. Our saving grace is music. As they say, music soothes the savage beast. Not that Avery is at all beastly, but strap her into her car seat and drive for more than half an hour and she definitely becomes a little savage-esque.   Her favourite CD is Name Your Tune. She can (and has) listened to it a thousand times. Children are egocentric. They LOVE hearing their name in the context of the songs. Truth be told, if I heard a few “Lisas” thrown in, I’d dig it too.   My friend Erica (head mummy over at The Yummy Mummy Club) did a voice over for Five Little Monkeys – Avery’s most requested tune. It’s strange hearing Erica’s familiar voice serenading us in our mini-van. When she sings, “I can seeeeeee you,” Avery gasps and says, “She sees me??” Makes me smile every time. Later, when Erica says, “Be very careful,” Avery responds, in a whisper, “Very careful.”   Shout out to our friend Scott too! He’s the manly voice in the Monkey duet.    Thanks Candace for making such an amazing product. I’m putting “Name Your Tune2” on[…]

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Critter Cam

There are many reasons to have children. Cuddles and cuteness, pride in their accomplishments and love – pure heart swelling love. But, we all know the best part of being a parent is the laughs. Kids are a riot and as the saying goes, “Kids say the darndest things.” Darndest?   Driving to school this morning, we got caught in the mini-van line, waiting to enter the war zone, I mean, parking lot. I told my son he could probably get out and make his own way to class. He was old enough. He said, “Could you imagine if we let Avery out, on her own? I wonder where she’d go? The playground probably.”   Then he thought for a second and said, “Know what would be cool? To put one of those Critter Cams on her head and let her go. Then we could watch where she goes and see what she does in her natural habit.”   Bahahahaha! I LOVE that idea. I have added “Critter Cam” to my Christmas wish list.    By the way, I did not let my son exit the van early and venture to class on his own. Why? Because I’m a paranoid[…]

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