Tired Of Loafing Around

I’m a social creature. I like to be near people at all times. If my husband is late coming home from work, I’ve been known to press my face up against the window, willing him home, like some lonely housebound cat. I don’t mind being alone. In fact, I revel in it some times. I just much prefer the company of other warm blooded mammals of the human variety.

The past few days, I’ve been trapped at home with the flu. My children are good company, but after a while their social graces and conversational skills wane. So my brief excursion out this evening was welcomed. I was finally out among my peeps! So what if my big outing was merely to the grocery store? I went with it. I chatted with the produce guy. Our conversation may have only consisted of, “Excuse me, where are the mushrooms?” but it was a start. The dude in the meat department wasn’t very chatty. I tried to engage him in a convo about ground turkey versus ground chicken, but he didn’t seem that into it.

Finally at the checkout (and here’s a glimpse of how loopy I become when I’m caged in for too long) I stood in line behind a business man. I noticed he had lined up four loaves of bread on the conveyor belt just beyond the rubber stick that divides his section, from mine. Coincidentally, we had chosen the exact same four loaves of bread – two multi-grains, one whole wheat and an Italian loaf. Really, what are the odds?

Naturally, I lined my loaves up on my side of the rubber stick, mirroring his. Then I tapped him on his shoulder. When he turned around I pointed and exclaimed, “Bread twins!” I’m not making this up. He was like, “Ha, ha. Okay.”

Oddly enough, he didn’t talk to me while he bagged his goods. As he carted his groceries away, he turned and politely said, “Goodnight.” To which I responded. “Thanks. You too. Enjoy your toast.” wtf? Enjoy your toast?? 

Moral of the story: Bread is on sale at Loblaws right now for $1.98 Also, I’m an idiot. 

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