Pink Eye

I took a photo of my eyes a few weeks ago in all their teary, weepy, oozy pinkness. I had a bad case of conjunctivitis. I planned on posting the picture with info about the “dos and don’ts of eye infections.” However, it cleared up and I deleted the repulsive pic. You’re welcome.

So guess what returned this morning? Pink Eye has reared its crusty head once again. The unfortunate victim this time around? My brown eyed boy. Make that, my brown and pink eyed boy.

This morning he woke with one lid sealed shut. I had him lie on the couch with a warm cloth over his eye to loose things up. I left the room to grab the drops and in the meantime, Avery nicked the cloth from her defenceless, half blind brother and put the diseased cloth over HER eyes! She was moaning and making all kinds of dramatic, “whoa is me” gestures. Apparently she wanted a little of the attention her brother was receiving. Well little girl, it’s very likely you’ll be receiving more than that. In about 24 hours, I’ll have two brown and pink eyed children on my hands (speaking of hands, they should be washed frequently).

In the unfortunate event conjunctivitis should befall your children, here’s the easiest way to administer eye drops. 

1. Refer to your kids as “The Infected” (A term from the movie “28 Days Later”…makes me laugh. Might as well get some enjoyment out of this gross situation right?) and have them lie flat, with their head tilted back slightly.

2. Get them to close their eyes.

3. Squeeze 1-2 drops of anti-biotic eye drops into the corner of the eye (where the little meatball is) and let it collect in that reservoir. *Make sure it’s the CORRECT MEDICINE. Trust me. I know because this happened. 

4. Ask your child to slowly open his eyes and blink rapidly.

5. Hold their head in your hands (gently, even though they may be squirming and scratching like a feral cat). Tilt and angle the head so the drops spill into the eye.

6. Repeat four times a day.

7. Buy alcohol for medicinal purposes (for you, not the kids).

8. This thing contagious! Wash hands and pillow slips often. Ideally, you should leave your kids at home and go to the spa by yourself until things clear up. What? I said “ideally.” I’m not going anywhere. Sigh. Pink is so not my colour.

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