Archive - May 2011

1
What You Should Know Before Your First Mammogram
2
DVDisasters
3
Budget Clipping
4
Close Your Eyes And Make A Wish
5
Dolls Belong In the Attic or At Goodwill
6
In and Out

What You Should Know Before Your First Mammogram

I walked in Toronto’s “Weekend To End Women’s Cancers” and met so many people touched by breast cancer. Too many. Concerned for my own health, I asked my doctor if I should have a mammogram. She explained that Canadian women are advised to be screened at the age of fifty, unless there is a history of breast cancer in the family, in which case the recommended age in forty. I asked if I should wait until fifty? She told me it was up to me. Then I asked the question I ask all doctors… “What would you tell your daughter?”  She said, “I would tell her to do it. Now.” She explained that breast cancer affects women (and men) of all ages, but it’s aggressive and develops quickly in younger women. By the time it’s detected, it may be too late. I made my appointment.   Mammograms can be scary. Especially your first. I tried to make the idea less daunting by pronouncing “mammogram” like you would if you were announcing a candygram (like in the old SNL shark candygram skit). It helped. But only a little. Sporting a tie-in-the-back gown, a friendly female technician showed me into a dimly lit exam room. She[…]

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DVDisasters

We don’t have cable T.V. anymore. We got rid of it in 2006. I wrote about the hows, and the why would anyone do thats here. We do have a five disc DVD player however which I assure you gets quite a workout most days.   I don’t use it to babysit my children though I *may* use the occasional movie to keep a certain busy little blonde girl occupied more often than I care to admit. I swore up and down and sideways I would never plop a child of mine down in front of the Boob Tube, but sometimes a mama just needs a minute (or sixty) to catch her breath.   So when our DVD player, the only source of digital entertainment at the time, went belly up I panicked. It simply whirred away emitting a most disturbing and painful screeching sound. How was I supposed to unload the dishwasher, make dinner and send an important email while under siege by an over-tired child begging for a little Dora action?   In desperation I pried off the lid and not only did I locate the source of the problem, I also discovered the mystery behind the dog’s new[…]

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Budget Clipping

It seems all we talk about around here these days is cutting costs. Clearly we talk about it TOO much (and TOO openly) since yesterday our eight year old asked, “Are we poor??” Oh holy hell. How am I supposed to answer that? Sigh. Naturally we told him we were anything but poor and all was well. I mean, we’re not technically “poor” at least not in the way he was thinking *think all of us sleeping in one bed in a shack down by the river.* However, we ARE a one income family, living in a two income home in an affluent neighbourhood, during tough economic times….wait a minute. Oh my god, we ARE poor! So either I need to go back to work (more to come on that tearful discussion) or we have to start sticking to our budget. Like glue. No impulse buys, no dinners out, no stuff. Just essentials. Writing that made my stomach cramp. We’ve always had a sensible budget, all pretty in an excel spreadsheet – colour coded, highlighted and bolded. HAVING a budget isn’t the problem. It’s actually sticking to it that’s well, sticky. Anyway, I can guarantee there will be a few[…]

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Close Your Eyes And Make A Wish

Our daughter is nearly five years old and she’s never been to a children’s birthday party. She understands what a party involves. She’s had plenty of exposure to birthday cake, candles, balloons, ripping open birthday wrap, and celebrating. But only ever with family.    In two years of preschool I’ve seen invitations passed around to every girl in the class but mine. Now with her first year of Kindergarten drawing to a close, I assume at least one child in her class has had a birthday party. Maybe I’m wrong. Perhaps every child was born in the summer? This doesn’t directly impact my child. She doesn’t know she’s being excluded. But it impacts me. I may be too sensitive (or so I’ve been told) but I definitely feel the sting of rejection on her behalf. I find myself wanting to shout, “What the hell people?”  Alas, I can’t force people to include her. It’s their choice. So I say nothing.  Though, I’d like to just say this… If there’s a child with a disability in your child’s class, please don’t overlook them. You might assume they can’t go to a party due to mobility or behavioural issues. Maybe you think they pose a[…]

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Dolls Belong In the Attic or At Goodwill

  George’s mom in doll form (Seinfeld)   For the most part, dolls are creepy. I’m also not fond of miniatures of any kind. Why do people think making things smaller than they are in real life suddenly makes them cute?   Last week as we were pulling into the driveway, my son asked, “Who’s that man in the garage?”   “What?! Where??” I shrieked, thinking there was an intruder lurking about. Turns out he was referring to a three foot tall, freakishly lifelike statue of my brother-in-law perched on a shelf, smiling at us.    My husband brought it home one day. I’m not exactly sure how he got his hands on it or why such a statue exists in the first place? Regardless, to my surprise he rescued his mini brother and made a place for him on a shelf in our garage.   Now a sort of ritual has began. Every morning as we leave for school through the garage, the kids says, “Bye Uncle Julian”, as though he’s the real deal. And they return at the end of the day with a happy, “Hi Uncle Julian.” It makes me smile. Though I’m not a fan of[…]

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In and Out

Tomorrow Avery is having surgery. It’s a simple procedure. In and out, literally – ear tubes in, adenoids out. Nothing to worry about, but try telling that to my queasy stomach and racing mind. Any time a child goes under, there are risks. And when your child has a medical file as thick as a telephone book, the risks increase. So….cue my rising blood pressure. The doctor mentioned giving Avery a little morphine if necessary. If she doesn’t need it, can I have it? Today I’m at home alone. The kids are at school and I’ve been busy doing really important things to keep distracted. Like: I organized my sock drawer. Its disorder has been bothering me for awhile. I find it unnerving when socks aren’t paired and sorted by colour and function (dress vs. sport). Holy OCD. I made this new Twitter avatar in  honour of “Star Wars – May the 4th Be With You Day.”  I made toast. I went to the bank and actually used the teller wicket. I haven’t done that for years. The woman ahead of me was having issues and taking forever. She turned to apologize saying, “Sorry for holding everybody up.” I suggested she[…]

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