Archive - December 2010

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Site Policies
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When Christmas Isn’t Exactly Merry
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Mouse Guest
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Dicknose
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You Say Santa, I Say Satan. Potayto, Potahto..

Site Policies

Disclosure: This is a personal blog written and edited by moi. The content on this site is never influenced by money or products I may receive for free. The views expressed here are mine-all-mine. When I left my career to look after our daughter, taking her to her medical appointments and therapies was my new priority; it’s why I chose to stay home. But what would I do to fill the creative void and bring in some money? I had blogged for years but never considered it as a career path. For the most part I write words for other people — like a modern day Cyrano de Bergerac. But in this space I write for me. I also occasionally have the chance to write about products I like and services that suit my family. “Review blogging” is tricky. Some people will put their name behind anything; give them a product and they will write a glowing review, as though adding “opinions are my own” absolves them from sincerity. These are my words. I won’t write about something that doesn’t work for me. Free products do not influence my opinion and I will never post about a product I don’t believe in or wouldn’t recommend to a friend.    Privacy Policy:   What information do we[…]

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When Christmas Isn’t Exactly Merry

The holidays can be a tiring, stressful, hectic time set smack in the midst of dreary winter. Unless you’re a child filled with wonder, Christmas can become more of a chore than a joy. But as parents we do our best to ensure our kids have a happy and memorable holiday, filled with the excitement we experienced in our own childhoods. Christmas morning at our house this year was filled with amazement and legitimate joy. For the first time, Avery “got” Christmas. She was in awe of each present and her brother was floored by his gifts. It was, dare I say, magical. It wasn’t until Christmas night that mummy unraveled, just a little. Fa la la la la, sob, sob, sob wah. Avery did well sitting at the kids’ table at my in-laws’ and I actually got to eat my entire turkey dinner. Pretty much. Come dessert however, she was overtired, overstimulated and overwhelmed. In lieu of dessert and conversation, Avery and I went home so the rest of the family could have a proper visit.  Getting her into her car seat was a struggle and a flailing arm made contact with my eye. I *may* have growled slightly.[…]

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Mouse Guest

‘Twas the night before, the night before Christmas, and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a except for a mouse. At lights out our “Elf On the Shelf” gets up to some crazy tricks, but last night he was respectfully quiet. By the way, I think there might be something going on between him and Mr. Potato Head. I’m not judging, just saying. But, Hubby was not impressed that the elf and his spuddy polished off the last of the fruitcake. Our dog who blesses us with nightly “canine night terror howls” was also uncharacteristically silent. And our daughter (part girl-part night-owl) who has been waking up every night for hours finally gave us a break too. She and her brother stayed quietly nestled in their beds all night, and their day slept soundly with limited snoring, probably dreaming of sugar plums dancing in his head (the guy has a ridiculous sweet tooth). As I attempted to drift off to sleep in my kerchief, I heard a “scratching, scurrying” sound from the ceiling directly above my head. It could only be a mouse. Or perhaps a herd of mice. I’m terrified of rodents.I plugged my[…]

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Dicknose

  Eons ago on a date with a new boyfriend, we took his three year old nephew to the park. I was anxious to demonstrate my maternal side, so I pushed the little tyke on the swings, chased him enthusiastically through the grass, climbed the play structure with him and carried him piggy back style rambunctiously across the park. I was sure I’d look up to find my boyfriend watching me admiringly, imagining me as the mother of his future children. How could he not? I was busting my motherly hump. Did I mention the back breaking piggyback thing? When my boyfriend asked his nephew his opinion of the new girlfriend, the little wiseguy replied, “She’s a dicknose. Excuse me? A dicknose says what? Fine. He was three and apparently this was his new thing—he called everyone a dicknose. Stellar parenting on my-never-to-be-sister-in-law’s part by the way. Sorry, too judgey? (In my defense, the child called me a dicknose!) Alas this boyfriend and I never married nor had a brood of babies. Turns out, the dicknose kid’s uncle was a dickhead. Sigh.That guy did a number on me. If only I knew in my twenties what I now know in[…]

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You Say Santa, I Say Satan. Potayto, Potahto..

  While the kids are out of the house today, I’m putting on my Santa hat. Actually, it’s more of a Satan hat to be honest. I’m pms-y and not in a festive frame of mind. I just cracked open a bag of Ruffles so things should improve once I ingest enough sodium. I’m trying to take advantage of the kid-free environment by wrapping ALL of the Christmas gifts. The thing is, I’ve hidden them all over the house and need to retrace my steps to find them. This would be funny except the pms-thing. I should really suck it up. I mean, Christmas is coming for Christ’s sake. Literally. hahaha.  Ok, that made me laugh.  Ahhh, the sodium must be kicking in. I love really do love Christmas. Everything about it. Minus the busy mall parking lots. Despise. This year is especially exciting since my youngest “gets” Santa for the first time. I asked her this morning, “Who’s coming soon?” She answered, “My grandma?” Well, yes. She’ll be coming. “But who else? Is Santa coming?” “Yessssss!” she exclaimed. “He bring pwezents.” Ahhh. You got that right girlfriend.  Budget be dammed. Santa is bringing you and your brother a pant load of presents.[…]

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