March 2010 - Forever In Mom Genes

Better

Mar 30 2010

My god I’m a useless sack of skin when I’ve had no sleep. Honestly. My brain don’t work so good. If I were smart, which I’m not, I’d go to bed instead of writing this. The thing is, I’m on “full alert” right now. Avery had two small seizures on Saturday and since she has a cold and is feeling unwell, I’m afraid that a “big one” is brewing. So I watch, with toothpicks propping open my lids. Last night, after going to bed at a sensible 12 am (see, told you I was dumb) Avery woke up at 2:45 am. And not just roused, but was UP and ready to rock, going full tilt until nearly 5 am. Being woken from sleep and forced to stay awake when your body is begging for rest is nothing short of torture. So today was a hazy blur. I went through the motions and managed to run some errands, get groceries and make new recipe for dinner. All pretty impressive considering my eyes were shut the entire time. When DS asked what was for dessert, I responded “Listen. Give me a minute. I’m doing my best okay?” To which he replied honestly[…]

Mar 21 2010

I laughed when I opened the cupboard to dose out Avery’s meds for the day and discovered my husband had put one of the medicine bottles in a beer cosy. He reasoned that if one of us dropped the glass bottle the foamy sleeve would protect it. The irony of the statement inscribed on the cover did not go unnoticed however. I’ve been so consumed by the threat of seizures that I haven’t been focusing on the myriad of medical, genetic and developmental concerns. Now that we’re experiencing a bit of a reprieve ( six weeks seizure free), my attention has returned to researching and planning and of course, worrying. I know it’s futile to worry about the future and things which are out of my control, but with kindergarten looming, it’s hard not to fret. It’s also futile (and stupid) to make comparisons. I know this, but yet I can’t seem to help myself. I took Avery to a play date over the March Break and I was looking forward to a morning with three lovely girlfriends with whom I’d spent my last maternity leave. Our children are the same age and I’ve watched them grow from babies to[…]

Mar 14 2010

It’s difficult being a juggler, keeping the balls and swords and flaming batons up in the air all at once. Lately, I’ve dropped most of the balls, been stabbed in the neck by an errant sword or two and my hair is currently aflame. It’s difficult being a parent on the best of days. Is my child eating well enough, gaining enough, drinking enough, pooping enough? Sometimes I just have enough of the enoughs. It’s difficult being the stay at home parent. I miss my job. I miss my old life. I feel guilty about that every day. It’s difficult making time to do the things that are not mummy related. To set aside the toys, to put down the dust cloth and to take pleasure in something that makes you feel like someone other than a cook/housekeeper/nurse/playmate/teacher/safety officer/mother. When I started this blog, its purpose was to document the birth of a home business – custom art for childrens’ rooms… PolkaDotGrove was a passion that both Sarah and I shared. She, because she is a true artist, in vision, talent and skill. Me? Mostly the vision part. I have ideas coming out the ying-yang. It’s the talent and skill[…]

Archive - March 2010

Better

Medicine Cosy

Juggles The Clown