Archive - 2009

1
Toxic Friendships
2
Do They Have HBO in Hell?
3
Never Met a Karaoke Machine I Couldn’t Knock Over
4
Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.
5
The Sweetest Birthday Boy

Toxic Friendships

  A small rant if I may? One long, deep, cleansing breath. Inhale and… …girlfriends. Can’t live without them. Well you could, but life would be a bore. Plus who would give you the straight-up truth in the RW & Co. change room about what those pants REALLY do to your bum? You really can’t afford to go through life without some solid women by your side. They build you up when you’re low, and come along for the ride when you’re riding high. But what if they don’t? What happens when a friendship takes a turn or just plain fizzles out? We’ve all had our hearts stomped on; our confidence shredded into tiny shards by men in our lives at one time or another. But what about the bosom buddies in our lives? When a friendship turns toxic it can do some pretty serious damage. Life has been stressful since our daughter’s diagnosis. Like hair falling out, stomach ulcer, insomnia, panic attacks, kind of stressful. For the most part friends have rallied and have really been there for us despite their own busy lives. I can’t even begin to thank them for that support. Sadly, there have been disappointments.[…]

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Do They Have HBO in Hell?

What do Spielberg’s Poltergeists 1, 2 and 3, White Noise starring Michael Keaton and the horror flick, The Ring all have in common? Creepy scenes involving a television! Growing up I was warned that T.V. was bad for me, but I thought that meant my eyeballs would implode if I sat too close. I had no idea that ghosts could burst out of the screen and that television was…evil. For years I ignored the warnings and lived dangerously. I watched Donny and Marie, The Love Boat and Fantasy Island. Sure, Donny and Marie’s relationship was somewhat unnatural, but it wasn’t “supernatural.” The Love Boat? Now what could be evil about an amorous ship? Maybe Doc was a little too touchy-feeling at times, but that’s not evil. Unless of course, he touched his patients inappropriately. And Fantasy Island? No wait, that show WAS evil. On so many levels. As I sprouted into a more discriminating couch potato, I enjoyed such non-evil classics as Silver Spoons, Family Ties, Growing Pains. The Wonder Years, and Roseanne. All perfectly pleasant and moral. Okay Roseanne could be foul at times, especially during that whole Tom Arnold spell, but I wouldn’t say she was evil (Though when[…]

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Never Met a Karaoke Machine I Couldn’t Knock Over

I can’t carry a tune in a bucket, but I LOVE to sing. I feel sorry for the audience mind you, as they sit politely listening (at first), ears bleeding, tears running down their faces. Why didn’t they run when they had the chance? My first experience with the Japanese art of Karaoke came at a late age. I was in my 20s tending bar at a popular nightclub that featured Karaoke Night every Tuesday. How I longed for Tuesdays. I’d finish my shift, apply fresh lip gloss, submit my name and song choice and wait with great anticipation. Nothing could stop me (outside of the be-muscled bouncers) from getting up on stage and belting out a tune in my most off-key voice. In my mind, I was Bette Midler circa 1979, singing the Rose with all the feelings. Have you ever been booed and told, “You suck. Shut up!” I have. I even have the humiliation preserved on video tape. After briefly dating the guy who ran the Karaoke operation (it ended on a sour note, so to speak) my microphone was silenced. A few years later however, at teacher’s college in a small town in Maine, USA, I[…]

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Oh. My. God. I’m. Tired.

Sleep deprivation and parenthood go hand and hand. I’m aware of this. But my kids are 6 and 3! Is there no end in sight to the persistent dark under eye circles, puffy lids and greyish skin tone? Not to mention the continuous state of “idiot” I seem to be in. Always forgetting where I’ve left things, trouble forming complete sentences, losing my train of um, you know, the…what was I saying? Lack of sleep turns a Yummy Mummy into a Dummy Mummy. Last night, I shut down my computer early. If you must know, my Tweetdeck crashed, so I figured the hell with it and turned in for the night. After tossing and turning for the usual hour or so, I finally drifted to sleep with soothing thoughts of how non-puffy and fresh I would be after a good night’s rest. 1:15 a.m.. The baby monitor lit up our room like a red light district. I jumped up and stumbled blindly down the hall to check on DD. Weird. She was sleeping like, well, like a baby. Back to bed. More adrenaline induced tossing and turning and then back to sleep. 2:35 a.m.. More screaming. Wailing actually and then[…]

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The Sweetest Birthday Boy

Is it just me, or does this seem like a LOT of presents?? We threw a birthday party for our 6yr old today. The weather was brilliant, nobody went missing or got injured and despite my pathetic cupcakes, the kids had a blast. We weren’t sure what to do for his party this year. Parents in our neighbourhood tend to go crazy overboard and we didn’t want to do that. Who am I kidding, we couldn’t afford it even if we wanted to. We ended up reserving the mini-soccer field behind our house. You can rent a public field from the city ($12 for 2hrs).     Hubby pitched a tent…ahem, for shade. We brought snacks and drinks, mangled cupcakes and scads of sports equipment – one of the many perks of being married to a gym teacher. My husband and his brother, also a P.E. guy organized all sorts of fun, active games. Our boy was such a great little party host. He introduced his neighbour friends to his school friends and made sure everyone felt welcome. There was only one injection of drama–an ambulance, sirens blasting went speeding toward our house while the pizza was being delivered. My[…]

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