Archive - December 17, 2009

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Getting A Little Too Jolly….
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Tooth Fairy Meets The Elf

Getting A Little Too Jolly….

For the love of god why did I stop running??? This summer I was on such a roll. Now I simply HAVE rolls. In three short months I have undone all of my hard work. I trained for and ran a 15km race last August. I was feeling fit and fab. Now I’m fat and drab. If I don’t get back on track soon, I’ll be trading in my Victoria Secrets for these unmentionables… I’m no spring chicken over here. As the big 4-0 looms I know I need to get moving and stay motivated. This is why my yearly New Year’s resolutions have come early this year – etched in chalk on the kitchen wall. My husband was literally laughing out loud as he watched me write these affirmations. He also shouted out a few he’d like me to add. They were funny. Really funny. I asked his permission to include them in this blog. Not gonna happen. I can say however that two of his suggestions are described rather graphically on Urban Dictionary and one I’m pretty sure, is illegal. What are your New Year’s Resolutions?

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Tooth Fairy Meets The Elf

Whatever genius thought of the Elf On The Shelf is ho, ho, ho-ing all the way to the bank. In case you’re unaware, the elf is sent from the North Pole to keep an eye on the children of the house and report back to Santa. Currently we have an elfin house guest named “Quacky” (don’t ask…his name is a stupid story within a stupid story) living with us. Every night our son tucks Quacky into the little bed he made for him in his bookcase. Each morning, he wakes to discover the elf is missing. When the family is asleep, this inanimate elf becomes “real.” He sneaks out of bed and gets into all sorts of mischief. He also uses the phone to call Santa…long distance. Occasionally he uses my computer to shoot Santa an email update. (I’m not sure, but I think he has also been logging onto some nasty elf porn sites.) We are having a blast moving the elf around the house and staging him in different scenarios before we go to bed (don’t you just LOVE the legit lies we’re encouraged to tell our children around the holidays?). The other night my husband and I[…]

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